Very slow 11 km this morning…

So slow that my timer went to sleep out of boredom and refused to wake up. I think I began by running an 11 minute km and slowed down from there. It took me about an hour and fifty minutes. The birds were mocking me from the sidelines, kicking sand in my face and snickering. The deer were grunting “you suck”. They had lots of time to yawningly graze their way out of my path. I know “yawningly” is probably not an adverb but it gets the message across. The spiders had loads of time to take down their webs until after I waddled through. “Hurry dear!” the spider daddies would shout, “here comes that web sweeping monster again! Oh, don’t worry, take your time, it’s just John!” Hmmm, I wonder if they hang their little spider underwear on their webs to dry after a rain?

But it’s OK. Tomorrow is my last hard training run before my rest week begins on Sunday. Like last Saturday I will get up at 5 AM, have a couple cups of coffee, take my hydration pack out of the freezer, fill it with Gatorade, drive to the river valley in Devon, and run a three loop 21 km, kicking spider ass all the way!

Oh, before I forget my odometer should turn over 1000 km tomorrow, unless I get bored and stop after 1.999 km. Wouldn’t THAT piss off all my fan. (sic)