johnsjar

We had another productive class today wherein we concentrated on kicks. We got to use the mats. I love kicking the mats because you can use full power and it’s just so much easier hitting a target than kicking the air. We did front thrust kicks, front snap kicks, roundhouse kicks, side thrust kicks, then back kicks. After that we practice ippon kumites 1 through 15. My partner was Sensei Kerrie. Then we did Yakushoku again with Sensei Kerrie as my partner.

This I am not good at. In spite of urgings from Sensei Kerrie and Sensei Pat to attack like I meant it, I could not bring myself to really commit to the attack. I am getting better, but still I hesitate. Sensei Pat laughs and points to Sensei Kerrie’s black belt to say that she can handle anything I could throw at her. Intellectually I know this is probably true, yet I am pretty strong and I could do some serious damage to someone. I think it is my lack of control and experience that is inhibiting me. I don’t know how to maintain control yet still press through an effective attack.

I am afraid I would really hurt someone quite seriously if I did not pull back. I think it will take a really long time for me to get over this, and quite frankly at this point I don’t really know how that will play out.

I like karate a lot for what it teaches you about the mind/body connection, for the physical fitness it gives you, for the strength and flexibility and mental confidence. I even like the concept that I am more confident in defending myself in a fight. I am not as afraid of confrontation as I think I was before. I am learning how to handle myself.

Yet, I shrink back at the brutality of karate. I am appalled at how lethal and damaging the techniques I am learning are. I am even more appalled and not a little frightened at the consequences of automatically reacting to an attack with lethal force. I mean, I’m the guy (and so is Marilyn) who bends over backwards to rescue a spider in the house and place it harmlessly outside so it can go on living it’s spider life. Can I slam someone to the ground and drive my foot through his pelvis, or crush someone’s larynx? I think not. What would I do if my life or the life of someone else was threatened?

Do I have to fight brutality with brutality? Evil with evil? Logic dictates yes, since brutal or evil people almost never react in a positive way to reasoned discussion. Still, I can’t help but think that there are a lot of people who make stupid, even criminal mistakes only to become model citizens and become really decent human beings given enough time. If I have to break their knee, or dislocate their hip joint, what a tragedy!

That’s the part I don’t like about karate and what I have to try to wrap my brain around. Karate is not effective if you hesitate or waffle. You have to commit yourself to the defense and attack. Even if it means disabling an attacker permanently. It’s no wonder the philosophy of karateka is to do everything in your power to avoid a fight and avoid using karate.

I will learn karate nevertheless.